Plunderin’ Susie Rose’s Challenge (Part 5 o’ th’ Red Star Saga)


Th’ crew o’ th’ Red Star had been sailing for some time. They were all awaiting land and were almost out of their provisions.

Captain Mischa Jolly Skulls had been looking out at the horizon when she heard Bonny Marina, Wench O’ Th’ Sea, gasp. She turned to look at her crewmate.

“Avast, mateys!” Bonny Marina yelled, “Thar be land o’er yonder!”

“Land ho! We be steppin’ ashore on this island, ready to plllage an’ plunder once more.” Captain Mischa Jolly Skulls called out. The crew readied the ship to land.

Once ashore, th’ crew o’ The Red Star set out for their new adventure. They walked along a path, looking for any provisions they could use, along the way.

After a short while, the crew came upon a lass putting sticks together to make a fire.

“Arrr, who ye be?” Captain Hallie The Kidd called out to th’ lass.

The lass stood up. “I be Plunderin’ Susie Rose. I was shipwrecked here after I lost a swordfight with other pirates. I be a wannabe pirate an’ jus’ be needin’ more practice.” Plunderin’ Susie said, slightly taken aback.

Captain Mischa stepped forward, “Arrr, I be willin’ t’ help ye with ye ol’ swordfightin’. An’ if ye be lookin’ fer another ship to sail on, we be lettin’ ye join our crew.”

“Thank ye”, Plunderin’ Susie Rose replied.  I’d love ter join yer crew. ‘Tis been lonely around these here parts.”

Captain Mischa Jolly Skulls turned back to her crew.  “We’ll stay here a bit.  I be needin’ t’ teach Plunderin Susie Rose how t’ swashbuckle like a real scallywag.”

The others nodded and left Captain Mischa to show Plunderin’ Susie how t’ swashbuckle.  Captain Mischa was one o’ th’ best scallywags around an’ had never lost a fight yet.  She loved takin’ pirate wannabes under her wing and helpin’ them become even better pirates.  She grabbed a couple of swords and handed one to Plunderin’ Susie.

“Th’ sword be fer protection nay be it th’ most important part o’ th’ swashbuckle.” Captain Mischa informed Plunderin’ Susie.

“Why is the sword nay the most important part?” asked Plunderin’ Susie.  She admitted that she wasn’t the best sword fighter out there and other pirates laughed at her when she was defeated in sword fights.

“Th’ most important part o’ any swashbuckle are th’ insults an’ comebacks.  Any good scallywag knows that,”  Captain Mischa explained. “Let’s see how ye do.”

Captain Mischa readied her sword and fired off the first insult. “My handkerchief will wipe up your blood!”

Plunderin’ Susie tried to swing her sword at Captain Mischa and missed.  “What blood?” she asked.

Captain Mischa tried again with another insult as she swung her sword, “Have you stopped wearing diapers yet?”

Plunderin Susie looked confused. “What are ye talkin’ about?”

“I see this is goin’ t’ b’ harder than I thought,” Captain Mischa shook her head in disappointment.

“Am I messin’ up that much?” asked Plunderin’ Susie sheepishly.  She sighed and went to grab her secret stash o’ grog.  “Here.  This be my only booty at the moment.  ‘Tis not much but I nay be good enough t’ be a pirate.”

Captain Hallie, who had been watchin’ the whole thing from her seat on a nearby fallen log, leapt toward Plunderin’ Susie’s grog.

“Grog!  Come t’ me!” Captain Hallie exclaimed as she took a swig of the drink.

Captain Mischa Jolly Skulls turned toward Plunderin’ Susie.  “I nay be done with ye yet.  Ye nay be th’ brightest scallywag but I believe ye can learn yer insults an’ comebacks.  Ye jus’ be needin’ more practice.”

Captain Mischa handed Plunderin’ Susie her sword back and proceeded to try again with teachin’ how to swashbuckle like a pirate pro.  She had Plunderin’ Susie practice memorizing some insults and comebacks and then try coming up with her own.  It was hard, however Plunderin’ Susie Rose didn’t give up even when she wanted to.

Finally, after seemed like a long time, Plunderin’ Susie won a fight against Captain Mischa.  She felt proud of finally getting the hang of how to swashbuckle.

First Mate Kaya Flint ran over to Captain Mischa and Plunderin’ Susie.  “Thar be another scallywag headin’ this way.  She may have treasure fer us t’ pillage.”

Captain Mischa turned around to find a pirate lass coming upon them from the path.  She turned back to Plunderin’ Susie Rose. “This be yer chance t’ show what ye can do.”

Plunderin’ Susie gulped.  She wasn’t sure if she could win the swashbuckle with this other pirate.  What if she messed up her comeback and hesitated on her insults?  She was afraid she’d be defeated once again and be the laughing stock of th’ whole crew.

The pirate came up to Captain Mischa. “Arrr, I believe yer in me way.  Avast, ye scallywags!”

“We nay be in yer way.  Ye, however, probably have booty ye be hidin’, don’t ye?” Captain Mischa answered.

“Aye.  Ye ain’t gettin’ me booty unless ye win th’ fight.  Now, which one o’ ye will swashbuckle against me?” inquired the pirate.

Captain Mischa grabbed Plunderin’ Susie’s arm and dragged her forward.  “This here be Plunderin’ Susie Rose, fiercest pirate lass on th’ island.  She be ready ter swashbuckle with ye.”

“Ha!” laughed the scallywag, “Plunderin’ Susie nay be fierce.  Her name be known all o’er these here parts an’ she nay has won any sword fight.”

Plunderin’ Susie blushed, embarrassed about her failures.  She was scared to swashbuckle this pirate lass and longed to run away.  Yet she stepped forward, trying to gather up her courage.

“I be ready t’ take on yer challenge,” Plunderin’ Susie whispered.

As Plunderin’ Susie swung her sword, she shouted “You have the manners of a beggar.”

“I wanted to make sure you’d feel comfortable with me,” countered the pirate.

The sword fight continued with insults and witty comebacks tossed back and forth between both lasses.  Finally Plunderin’ Susie shouted “I’ve got the courage and skill of a master swordswoman!”

The other pirate was speechless.  She had been impressed with Plunderin’ Susie’s ability so far and had thought that the swashbuckle wouldn’t have lasted this long.  She blundered a comeback that didn’t make much sense in context.  “You run THAT fast?”

With that, the swashbuckling was over and the pirate, defeated, held out to the crew o’ th’ Red Star a small treasure chest from behind a bush.

“I be hidin’ this here booty fer a few months now.  It seems today, I met my match.  I surrender this to ye, Plunderin’ Susie Rose.”  The pirate lass handed Plunderin’ Susie the treasure chest.  She then left up the path to continue on her journey.

“Thank ye, Captain Mischa, fer believin’ in me.  I want t’ share this treasure with ye all,” offered Plunderin’ Susie.

Captain Mischa obliged, “I knew ye could do it,” she beamed.  “Yer not so bad o’ a scallywag an’ if ye keep practicin’. ye’ll get even better.”

First Mate Kaya Flint and Plunderin’ Susie opened the treasure chest to see what was inside.

Then they carefully closed it back up and boarded th’ Red Star.

Plunderin’ Susie Rose was glad to be part of a pirate crew again and to set sail for new adventures on the horizon with her friends.  She and the others couldn’t wait for more pillagin’ an’ plunderin’ ahead as th’ Red Star headed out to sea once more.

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